But Sholmes isn't going to break character, and Juzo knows by now that the guy is as stubborn as they come. Better get this over with. (That's probably not the first time he's had that thought tonight. It won't be the last.)
Silently, and painfully awkwardly links his arm with Sholmes'. ]
[ God, this is so stupid!! Maybe he'd have an easier time if he stopped thinking about this as what it literally is and started thinking about it more like a job.
That takes some of the edge off. Enough that he's able to look down again. ]
Can't say I have. Guy like me tends to stick out in highbrow places like that.
[Sholmes senses a slight shift — not quite enough for Juzo to be completely comfortable, but enough to continue a conversation without too much issue. That is the point, after all; and if he puts whatever technique he’s using into practice, no doubt he’ll acclimate in no time at all.
Maybe.]
But I think “a guy like you” would look very handsome in a finely-tailored suit. I can just imagine it.
[Under the pretense of sharing a secret, what is a lady to do? Sholmes leans in closer, of course, unhooking their arms just long enough to cup a hand to the side of his face, whispering conspiratorially.]
Well, it may be improper for me to share, but I feel as though I am safe in telling you. While I was getting dressed for our outing today, I found myself in a very difficult predicament. This dress was built for a certain... body type, shall we say. One that is fuller in certain areas of which I am not naturally inclined.
[The boobs. He's talking about the boob area.]
So I conjured up a trick to make the fabric fit a little more snugly. Do you want to know what it was?
[Sholmes leans in even more, smile tilting up at the corners.]
I stuffed a pair Miss Jiang Yanli's steamed buns down the front of my dress. One on each side. I am walking about with food beneath these fabrics, Mr Juzo, so that the garment does not droop while we walk. Please appreciate the lengths I will go to for your sake.
But you may as well be saying it to her with your body language. Honestly!
[HOOKS THEIR ARMS TOGETHER AGAIN]
This is for your own good, so steel yourself! Irene will be returning in a few seconds’ time, and she will be inclined to lean her lovely head against your shoulder as your beachside trek continues onward. I may as well warn you about it now!
[Stubborn as he is, Sholmes just continues to hold his arm out expectantly.]
I admit that it utterly confounds me to guess at what you could be so afraid of. Do you think I will bite? Or try to suddenly ravage you in the sand? This is but a short, mildly flirtatious stroll.
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But Sholmes isn't going to break character, and Juzo knows by now that the guy is as stubborn as they come. Better get this over with. (That's probably not the first time he's had that thought tonight. It won't be the last.)
Silently, and painfully awkwardly links his arm with Sholmes'. ]
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My, you are tall enough that I hardly need a parasol at all. Your own marvellous frame might shade me well enough.
[Starts walking! He will avoid straying too close to the water for Juzo's sake. Best not to test too many things at once.]
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This had better be a short walk or he's not going to make it. ]
The sun's not even out.
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…Then all the more impressive that you cast a shade at all!
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You fir-- uh. Ladies first.
[ AN ATTEMPT WAS MADE. ]
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Oh, me? [He chuckles lightly.] I'm something of a performer. A contralto singer!
Have you ever been to an opera, Mr Inui?
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That takes some of the edge off. Enough that he's able to look down again. ]
Can't say I have. Guy like me tends to stick out in highbrow places like that.
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Maybe.]
But I think “a guy like you” would look very handsome in a finely-tailored suit. I can just imagine it.
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I-- I'm not really one for dressin' up fancy.
[ Besides, he has a bad habit of destroying his clothes. ]
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Oh, I don't know. I think I could find you something very fitting.
[The parasol twirls again as he guides them across the beach.]
Speaking of very fitting, would you like to hear a secret, Mr Inui?
[Yes, he's going to squeeze an Echidna quest into this date, fight him.]
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Even pretending this is a job isn't helping him as much as he'd hoped it would. ]
I suppose so?
[ He doesn't sound very sure of that. ]
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Well, it may be improper for me to share, but I feel as though I am safe in telling you. While I was getting dressed for our outing today, I found myself in a very difficult predicament. This dress was built for a certain... body type, shall we say. One that is fuller in certain areas of which I am not naturally inclined.
[The boobs. He's talking about the boob area.]
So I conjured up a trick to make the fabric fit a little more snugly. Do you want to know what it was?
[Sholmes leans in even more, smile tilting up at the corners.]
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I stuffed a pair Miss Jiang Yanli's steamed buns down the front of my dress. One on each side. I am walking about with food beneath these fabrics, Mr Juzo, so that the garment does not droop while we walk. Please appreciate the lengths I will go to for your sake.
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You cannot say that to a lady’s face! And while you are on a date, at that! I will pretend poor Ms Adler did not hear this incivility from you!
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[HOOKS THEIR ARMS TOGETHER AGAIN]
This is for your own good, so steel yourself! Irene will be returning in a few seconds’ time, and she will be inclined to lean her lovely head against your shoulder as your beachside trek continues onward. I may as well warn you about it now!
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Would you stop it?! This isn't helping anything!
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I admit that it utterly confounds me to guess at what you could be so afraid of. Do you think I will bite? Or try to suddenly ravage you in the sand? This is but a short, mildly flirtatious stroll.
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[ UGH. He feels so stupid for this whole thing. ]
It makes me uncomfortable. Always has. I appreciate what you're tryin' to do for me, but it's not gonna change anything.
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big ol' gaa2 spoilers for you stalkers out there
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