βit was your closet. You said that Stoat pulled some things loose and...i-it must've pulled out too much and that's why. Maybe we can put it back, just a little! Or I can replace whatever chocolate that was there. I won't make it myself, I can ask Mr. Kusumit or Mr. Leo for help...
But it isn't happening! We must've accidentally knocked something wrong. You're--you've gone on dates with Mr. Sholmes or Miss Adler. I can't fight Mr. Sholmes!
[ physically, yes, easily. but emotionally it would be devastating. ]
Infringing on someone else's relationship can lead to fights o-or contract hits! Even mere suspicions can have people reported to the secret police!
[ honestly, the only times her targets are almost relieved to see her is when they realize they're going to be executed because their infidelity to their country, not their wives finding out about any mistresses. ]
[ And here he thought things were wild where he came from. ]
That's not... those aren't the rules everywhere. Especially not here. Didn't you see Stoat's stupid love chart? There were people who had like a dozen lines comin' off of 'em!
[ she ducks her head at the outburst, wishing she knew how to explain better why he's mistaken. maybe it wasn't an accident when going through his heart, but it has to be some mistake she can fix, because otherwise... ]
...but they're my rules. It's what's normal for my world, it's what's normal for Loid. An Ostanian woman is a caring mother and a faithful wife. She doesn't...nobody worries about extra lines or string because she's beyond reproach.
[ because otherwise whatever she did or felt was wrong. ]
[ A little too late, he realizes how that sounded, like he was trying to change her mind. ]
I understand.
... There are no extra lines, and there doesn't have to be. A crush can stay a crush. I'm not trying to take you away from your husband. That's the last thing in the world I want. If not for the damn strings, I wouldn't have ever brought it up.
[ she turns her head away more, staring down at the broken glass or countertop or anywhere else. she can't quite shake her head as a gesture to tell him that no, he doesn't. he doesn't understand it at all. because she doesn't really understand herself either, except for the feeling that she is a miserable failure to have not earned a gold thread.
and whatever that feeling is seeps into the end of her thread now, tarnishing the soft gold with small, faint smears of purple the color of bruises. ]
[ She might not be looking at him, but he's looking at her, watching the way she avoids him and feeling like the biggest jerk in the world over it. This is exactly what he'd been hoping to avoid, but perhaps all he'd been doing was prolonging the inevitable.
God dammit. ]
If you wanna head back to the dorm, I can clean up here.
Juzo has had very little reason to learn to hide his expressions, so it's a great effort of will to keep the look on his face from falling. Just the mere notion that Yor might not want to go back to the dorm, might not want to go back home because of him runs him right through. ]
[ it's not what she wants at all, but it's the only thing she can do now that seems right for Phoenix. ]
I'll...see you later then.
[ and she's going to carefully make her way over the broken glass and out the door until the distance is enough so eventually their string goes intangible again. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ and it is a totally real marriage to a real person! with a real marriage licence! ]
You know I'm married! I didn't--I didn't do anything!
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[ How does he even explain this? How does he let her know that it's okay? It has to be okay. ]
I feel how I feel but I'm not gonna do anything about it. It's fine. Just... forget you saw anything, okay?
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βit was your closet. You said that Stoat pulled some things loose and...i-it must've pulled out too much and that's why. Maybe we can put it back, just a little! Or I can replace whatever chocolate that was there. I won't make it myself, I can ask Mr. Kusumit or Mr. Leo for help...
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[ Give him a second, some of that stuff comes back to him clearer than others. It's when she starts talking about the closet that it clicks. ]
Yor... the notes were me tryin' to convince myself it wasn't happening. You know, because you're married. It still... happened.
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[ physically, yes, easily. but emotionally it would be devastating. ]
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[ honestly, the only times her targets are almost relieved to see her is when they realize they're going to be executed because their infidelity to their country, not their wives finding out about any mistresses. ]
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That's not... those aren't the rules everywhere. Especially not here. Didn't you see Stoat's stupid love chart? There were people who had like a dozen lines comin' off of 'em!
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...but they're my rules. It's what's normal for my world, it's what's normal for Loid. An Ostanian woman is a caring mother and a faithful wife. She doesn't...nobody worries about extra lines or string because she's beyond reproach.
[ because otherwise whatever she did or felt was wrong. ]
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I understand.
... There are no extra lines, and there doesn't have to be. A crush can stay a crush. I'm not trying to take you away from your husband. That's the last thing in the world I want. If not for the damn strings, I wouldn't have ever brought it up.
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[ she turns her head away more, staring down at the broken glass or countertop or anywhere else. she can't quite shake her head as a gesture to tell him that no, he doesn't. he doesn't understand it at all. because she doesn't really understand herself either, except for the feeling that she is a miserable failure to have not earned a gold thread.
and whatever that feeling is seeps into the end of her thread now, tarnishing the soft gold with small, faint smears of purple the color of bruises. ]
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God dammit. ]
If you wanna head back to the dorm, I can clean up here.
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...I think it will be better for everyone if there are less people in the dorms. I'll find somewhere else to stay until these go away.
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Juzo has had very little reason to learn to hide his expressions, so it's a great effort of will to keep the look on his face from falling. Just the mere notion that Yor might not want to go back to the dorm, might not want to go back home because of him runs him right through. ]
... If that's what you want.
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I'll...see you later then.
[ and she's going to carefully make her way over the broken glass and out the door until the distance is enough so eventually their string goes intangible again. ]